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My first sourdough attempt produced a weapon not a loaf Attempted a Pinterest recipe and produced something no one could name The wedding cake collapse heard three tables away The roommate who put dish soap in the dishwasher and flooded the kitchen DIY bangs: they grow back but the photos last forever Parallel parking in front of a crowd and then forgetting the handbrake Waved back enthusiastically at someone who was greeting the person behind me My chair collapsed during a silent exam and every head turned at once Helped my friend move house and confirmed that gravity always wins The treadmill stumble is a rite of passage at every gym on earth The corporate email reply-all avalanche: one mistake times four hundred employees One screw left over and a shelf that leans forever: the IKEA assembly experience Reversed the car straight into my own mailbox and the mailbox won Washed a wool sweater on hot cycle and gifted myself a crop top Tripped over absolutely nothing in the middle of the mall and committed to a stretch

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